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Sex with Dr. Jess


September 8, 2021

9 Anal Pleasure Techniques (For Your Fingers & Tongue)

There are no sure-fire techniques (and nothing compares to open communication), but hopefully, these techniques will inspire you to try something new tonight!

A Lotta Hot Air

Lick your lips and open them wide as you breathe warm air over your lover’s pucker. Gently flatten your tongue against the opening and then purse your lips to breathe cooler air over the soft, wet spot you’ve created.

Dear Daisy

Use the soft pad of your thumb (slathered in lube) to trace petals around the pucker as you breathe gently over the wet spot.

Eat Your Heart Out

Use your hands to pry open your lover’s supple butt cheeks and dive in with your lips, nose, and tongue. Slurp, kiss, lick, twirl, and suck away as though you’re diving face-first into a bowl of freshly whipped cream.

joey-nicotra-Zq90mDUbaxk-unsplashSlip N’ Slide

Slather your hand in lube and slide in a very gentle karate chop-style motion between your honey’s butt cheeks starting at the very top. Once they’re is fully relaxed, slither your tongue up and down from the tip of their upper cheeks down to their butthole.

The Reach Around

While you’re performing oral sex on your lover, reach around with a wet hand and circle your fingers around the butt hole. Press gently against the opening and gradually slide the tip of your finger inside as you continue to suck away.

Tawdry Trace

Trace a slow, sensuous line from the centre of your lover’s spine right down to the pucker, and then point your tongue tightly to slide it inside.

Butt Screw

Cross your ring and middle finger, slather them in lube and slide them into your lover’s already primed pucker with your palm facing down. As you pull out, rotate your palm upwards and repeat.


Lip Smacker

Use two fingers to gently tap the pucker gradually increasing the intensity and alternating between “smacks” and slurpy wet lip kisses.

Tongue Twister

Hold their butt cheeks open with your hands and slide your tongue inside. Once you’re as deep as you can reach, twirl your tongue in a circular fashion to titillate the sensitive nerve endings inside the canal.


And if you’re looking to add some very good vibes into the mix, check out the We-Vibe Ditto & Vector — they’re rumbly, waterproof, and perfect for beginners and experts alike!

We-Vibe Vector

And position recommendations?

alexander-krivitskiy-Wi80DmE9ybE-unsplashI feel like the go-to is kneeling while giving, but are there some other variations on this that can be fun? 69? Standing? etc.

Standing against the wall; the other partner gets on their knees

Reverse squat: One partner lies on their back and the other kneels over their chest to bend over a give a blow job

Side by side: you both lie on your sides facing one another

Giraffe: One partner lies on their back on the bed with their head hanging off the side; the other partner stands next to the bed and slides inside their mouth.

Upper Deck: One partner lies on their back; the other kneels over their head and slides inside of the lower partner’s mouth.

Anything folks should know about spit vs. swallow? Is it okay to spit?? Should this be a convo ahead of time?

Do what works for you. Some people like the taste of semen, some of indifferent and others dislike it.

There is no pressure to do something you don’t enjoy, and you might also find that you enjoy it for the sake of your partner’s pleasure if you give it a try.

Some options for swallowing or not swallowing:

If you want to swallow…

  • Take the penis deep into your throat and let them come as you exaggerate your gulping sounds and gaze seductively into their eyes.
  • Suck only on the head so that you can control how much come you swallow at a time.
  • Open your mouth wide and stroke the shaft as they come all over your tongue.
  • Let them know how good it tastes
  • Use a flavored lube to enhance the taste
  • Ease up your pressure while they’re coming and sensually wrap your wide, flat tongue around the underside of the penis to feel each contraction

If you don’t want to swallow…

  • Tell them where you want it: “I want it all over my chest!” or “Catch it yourself!”
  • Suck on the head, but spit it into a mug of water or a towel instead of swallowing.
  • Let it drip out into a big sticky mess instead of swallowing.
  • Use your hands to catch it
  • Use a flavored condom for oral sex

Oh, and what if you have a reactive gag reflex! What should folks know to avoid vomiting on their partners’ dick??

You’ll likely find that your gag reflex becomes less sensitive as you become aroused, so make sure you enjoy the experience! Fantasize, tell them to talk to you in a way that turns you on, rub against them ,or wear a vibrating toy while you go down on your lover. If you want to enjoy a blow job and give a good one, there is no better technique than ensuring that you’re turned on too.


Of course, you don’t have to go deep to give a good blow job. Use your hands to extend your mouth and communicate with your partner so that you’re clear about how much thrusting (if any) you like. If you’re nervous about gagging, you’re not going to enjoy yourself and your discomfort will affect your lover’s enjoyment too.

On the flip side, if you don’t mind a little gagging, don’t be self-conscious about it. Some lovers enjoy the natural sounds of your body and gagging can be hot if you’re both into it.