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Sex with Dr. Jess


June 10, 2021

Post-Pandemic Dating Advice

As more cities and provinces across the country are reopening and vaccination rates are increasing, we’re seeing a gradual return to normalcy from coast to coast. But what does this mean for relationships? A good deal has changed over the past 16 months — especially the way we connect in relationships, so I joined The Morning Show team to discuss my predictions for post-pandemic love.

Check out the video and summary below.

Is there going to be a massive onslaught of dating as many people as you can?

I’m hearing a mix. I know some people south of the border who are doing all they can to get out and date. But I also hear from others, who despite being fully vaccinated and having the freedom to do as they please. They are just not ready to dive in head first. We didn’t get to transition into this pandemic in Canada. We were just told to stay home and stop going to work & school in March 2020; but we can choose to more gradually transition back to the new normal and this is what I’m seeing with daters. Most are taking it slow.

Is online dating still going to be relevant?

Online dating may become more relevant than ever. The ability to connect online has become our lifeline — in business, families, relationships and even international relationships. We would not have made it this far during such a disruptive period without online tools and this includes online dating. We saw significant pivots in online dating platforms early in the pandemic (shifting to video dating) and these apps continue to shape dating trends even as parts of the world emerge from the pandemic (working with the White House to add a I Got The Shot badge to dating profiles).

markus-winkler-qBw6Gy5zpVM-unsplashOne Plenty Of Fish survey of 3000 singles & daters found that 66% report that they’ll still use virtual tools for intimacy post-pandemic. And 64% say that being virtually intimate changed how they view intimacy altogether with 57% placing a higher value on non-physical intimacy (e.g. emotional & intellectual intimacy).

What does this higher value on emotional or intellectual intimacy mean for the future of relationships?

Emotional intimacy (being open to connections & closeness through sharing of feelings) hopefully means we’ll be less focused on abstract concepts like chemistry and traits (like height or build) and more focused on vulnerable sharing and receiving.

Intellectual intimacy (being open to challenge & growth) might mean that we have more to talk about for years and decades to come once we get into a relationship.

For people who are nervous about dating in person, how can they ease into it?

  • Start with dating online first to develop that emotional connection. There is no rule that says you must meet in person right away.
  • Set a time limit on dates. Let them know you’re available for an hour as opposed to leaving it open ended.
  • Go on group dates. If you’re meeting friends in the park, invite them to join with a friend.
  • Talk about your boundaries and concerns ahead of time. Online dating gives us so many options for speaking up — voice, text, memes, audio notes, video. Use them to ask about the issues that matter to you.

We heard of many folks moving back home during the pandemic. What if you’re now living with your parents —  what’s the etiquette if you’re dating?

My view is their house, their rules. So ask them!

If you’re paying room and board and you’re more like a tenant-family member, then you probably want to talk about each of your boundaries with regard to privacy and bringing guests home.