Like Sex with Dr. Jess on FacebookFollow Sex with Dr. Jess on InstagramFollow Sex with Dr. Jess on TwitterSubscribe to Sex with Dr. Jess's channel on YouTubeSubscribe to Sex with Dr. Jess's RSS feed
Sex with Dr. Jess


March 18, 2020

Your Quaran-Team: How to Manage the Stress of COVID-19

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Therapist and writer, Jake Ernst, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss:
  • Strategies for assembling your support team (AKA quaran-team) during this stressful time
  • Apps that can help you to manage stress, transition and isolation
  • How to manage being cooped up with your family, partner or roommates
  • How to cope with difficult personalities and strained relationships in close proximity
  • Ways to bring yourself back to the present and support others in doing the same
  • How to recognize and manage signs of stress

Follow Jake on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. Learn more about Straight Up Health here or by following them on Instagram. As Jake referenced during the episode, consider Calm’s 30-Day free trial.


If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple PodcastsSpotifyPodbeanGoogle Podcasts, Amazon MusicStitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Your Quaran-Team: How to Manage the Stress of COVID-19

00:00:05 – 00:05:06

You’re listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I’m your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. It’s been a little while since we’ve been together on. The podcast wasn’t sure if I was allowed to introduce myself as the CO host. Because you’ve been M I A. I have a have so much going on right now. I’ve been on the road all year but I am not on the road. I am in self isolation duo duo isolation right now back in Toronto we have been traveling and upon returning the country. We’ve been asked to stay in our homes for fourteen days so we are currently on day two of our self isolation my activity count on my apple. Watch is low. Although that’s goals for me to keep my steps down mines embarrassingly low. How little I’ve done my movement. But Hey it’s what we need to do. So yeah with this global pandemic. We are staying home. It’s pretty disruptive to our schedules Obviously there are a range of stresses that you know we’re personally experiencing at this moment so being asked to stay home for fourteen days of course for someone like me who doesn’t even want to stay in the same city for fourteen days. I kind of freaked out for a hot second and then I realized that it’s very little to ask me. There was a moment I just this fear in your eyes and it passed very quickly when you understood what needed to be done. Why but you were like ISD home. For How long what? Yeah and. It’s not warm in Toronto and I try and avoid Toronto for the cool months and very lucky to get to that so I have to say I’m lucky to be home. We live in a fairly small home downtown. Toronto AND MY DAD LIVES WITH US. But because we have been traveling and my dad is high risk. He’s seventy seven years old today. Actually we’ve moved him into a place at the corner and he’s also sick so he should be self isolating but he refuses to and that’s all other story altogether which is part of why. I’m so stressed today. We’ll tell you just from all the things going on exactly. Yeah there’s just so much going on. I mean tensions are high in so many different ways and so today. We’re bringing on a guest to help us out with some of these tensions to help us figure out how to manage social isolation or what people are calling quarantine and yeah how to get through it with yourself with a partner with loved ones. I have to say obviously like my here with us because I know I can help and more ways and the same time being in the space with Brandon alone is a lot easier than being in this space with with an extra person. Yeah I mean we’re we’re a couple of days in and so far it’s going. Well I’m not even remotely conservative of getting the next two weeks of isolation self quarantining but I would imagine that if you I mean if your father are if my father-in-law was here. Would it would add another layer and if. I had children if I had pets if I had other responsibilities other stresses I it would be a lot to deal with right now so joining us today to discuss ways to manage self isolation and social isolation during this pandemic is Jake Ernst a writer and therapist with a particular interest in exploring and sharing lived experiences. Jacobs interested in unexplored feelings unprocessed trauma and unmet attachment needs in childhood as catalysts for. Mental UNHEALTH and an wellness. Now we’re both in Toronto but we’re a ways away from each other. Thank you so much for joining us there so very welcome so having to be here now. I know. This is a really stressful time for everyone not only are tensions high because we feel a threat to our physical wellbeing but polls and our routines are highly disrupted our social interactions are limited or eliminated. Many of us are cooped up. Were on edge over the uncertainty of how this all will unfold. I think there’s frustration with the perhaps conflicting information. We’re seeing out there and I’m sure you’re seeing this in your practice but yesterday you posted about how to manage social distancing and social isolation and creating your own core team so the team that supports you through this time alone. Can you walk us through what that might look like? Yeah of course so Like you said Corn team is just a name that I came up with and not only do I love a pint by something.

00:05:07 – 00:10:15

Practical like selling that. So practical in very solution focused and results oriented and so You know during this moment of social distancing. I became kind of worried because I was thinking you know In our desire to limit physical proximity I was just worried about the effects of that might have Armenta Hall especially for people Who are specifically Challenged by social isolation and which is a large number of us like. Let’s just kind of name that And so I was. I was trying to put together a way that we can maintain some someone’s of social connection in some forms of emotional distance keeping While we are trying to keep our physical distance and so I was really interested in really defining. Kind of getting down to the nitty gritty of what social distancing actually means and and should and could luckily It’s really easy to sort of hear social distancing immune that you know everyone needs to kind of locked themselves in one bedroom and not talk to anyone in you know Isolate yourself as a as a way of keeping yourself safe in a healthy during these really difficult and bumpy times and so I always. Do you have a core team? And it’s something that I came up with as a way for us again. Continue that social and emotional connection that that we as humans need and actually require or to stay healthy and to stay well and so basically the Korean team again like you said is is a group of people that you can rely on for comfort and to sue though. Any of that was big feelings of panic. Actually set in Wenders Curies of heightened stress at any point her life. And so you know really. I think it’s important to name the fact that You know while there is a global pandemic. It’s happening you know we. This is just represents as larger of purity for us as people who just have natural human responses to stress. And that’s really what this is just a greater period of stress rock. So how many people do you have as a part of your team like? If I’m putting together a team how many people. How many people on my line do I need to have? I am a big advocate for as many people as you can kind of manage. I think that Probably Twenty is probably too many think. Think think about Who you would invite your immediate social gatherings and really what you’re going to try to do is to transfer Those introduced a different setting. So maybe it’s a virtual setting or maybe it’s a phone call maybe it’s You know going for a walk and talking to someone on the phone got Kinda thing right and so really what? I was hoping through emphasizes that you know. There are many creative ways that we can continue to live a healthy lifestyle while also balancing the stress that comes along with being part of this global pandemic of course you know Announcements are always changing. And you know. The effects of the virus are changing day today and so of course. That doesn’t mean that you have to compromise all of the the laws and the rules that are put in place for your specific area so What are some other ways in creative ways that we can Still maintain that social that physical in social distance but then also Improve our social and emotional connections. I I laugh as you said. Think about who you’d have in. Your team jess her media social circle. There’d be like thirty people I would. I would have no one but six dogs so I I. I’m just kidding I. There are a few people. But there’s a you made a really good point just about how many people you normally have around you and extending that to your virtual network. I think that’s a really good point to drive home. Yeah and so. If you think about it in terms of drafting your all star team like who are you calling upon right? Who are these people as? Probably your your closest friends new closest numbers and then probably also some maybe distant friends and distant family members as a required right. And so again. You’re not trying to you know. Just show two for sake of reaching out to people. I encourage people to be intentional though a what that team looks like in What role each person on that team is playing for you. And so maybe for some people Their partner may be fulfilled certain Emotional need for them but that they can’t get from friends for example and so Those are just one example of course of of ways that we can be very intentional about. Who’s on that team? You know I think that for people who are accustomed to being connected via technology like me at. This isn’t as much of a shift because I’m on the road all the time. I stay connected to the people. I’m closest with including Brandon Online. So the other day for example I was supposed to have a meeting with Marla Renee Stewart. Who is a CO author and we just decided to hang out on zoom just kind of hung out for an hour and a half the way we would have had we gone and gotten a drink together and then I was thinking about You know I live in this community so we live down Toronto. And we’re very close with our neighbors and Brennan and I are actually in social isolation as opposed to What’s the other one quarantine or so? Yeah we’re not allowed out for fourteen days because we were overseas Corinthian yeah so we.

00:10:15 – 00:15:02

My neighbor actually just messaged me and said. I’m going to the grocery store. Do you need anything and in so I gave her my things that I want. And in addition to that she doesn’t have a car so she just took my car right so she. I didn’t need to see her. She just went. We put the keys in the mailbox and she grabbed it. And so we’re kind of lucky to have that team around us but I think about other people who maybe don’t have as big of a team so my father for example is seventy seven years old and I’m pretty much his team which puts a lot of pressure on me especially because he refuses to listen to me at this but I and I was thinking about it this morning i was feeling really overwhelmed by it and I just realized that I see. I’m not like a lifesaver right. I can’t keep pulling someone out of the depend if they can’t swim and they’re just GONNA keep jumping back in. So you mentioned do a hobby with someone over video chat you said you can read paint play. Video Games watch movie. I kind of love that and I noticed that with my younger younger cousins in their teenage years. Sometimes they’re on facetime or what’s video with their friends and you don’t even know they’re they’re they’re just kinda like sitting there. Have you observed that with younger people? I definitely have. Actually I work with a lot of young people and There’s a lot of people that even just do study groups online and just sort of so a lot of them like like you are accustomed to you know virtual ways of staying connected with people but then also not having to think so closely about like the physical proximity piece on in so yeah. I see many people who are forming study groups online just like in our day to day and so I think the people who have the most challenges are of course people who aren’t accustomed to using technology as a way of saint connected but then also people who are naturally more isolated ray and That that’s really challenging right. Because they think it really tests our Our own capacities to support one another and so of course you have to a supporter south first so that we are available for other people and part of in of course for the challenge with that is is being able to balance what is in my control and what is out of my control you know in so many situations like perhaps along with your father. There are many pieces of that area in your control and there are some that are completely beyond your control. Which I’m sure contributes to love that unsettling anxiety and fear right. Yeah I think uncertainty in and of itself is part of what stressing people out right now because minute by minute day by day the announcements are rolling in. It’s different for example in the states. It’s different from one county and one city to another Many of if you’re in the Canadian situation many of the requirements restrictions are mere suggestions. Which to me personally as a little frustrating. Because you know they’re saying hey closed down bars but you don’t have to close down bars and so you know there’s pressure You know I know people for example who are still pressured into going to work. So how can we support our own mental health? When everything feels uncertain and constantly changing. Yeah I think. Part of part of that is getting a real with the fact. That’s true right. Many people in our panic in our fear we WANNA kinda reject her out and we want to kind of go to a different story that we treat in her head and So what’s really important to consume news but only consume news At a reasonable level in volume and so what a while. Suggestive people is to pick a time during the day where it’s news time and you’re often. I suggest maybe the end of the day is a good time. So you can kind of collect the day’s news But I would really suggest that people put more boundaries in place around our news consumption Because in into to bring you know more young people interest as well a lot of times people get news in more unreliable places and so A lot of young people I know are getting news from social media from Tick Tock for example I was just speaking with a parent who Who had field some questions from their daughter of a tick? Tock because there’s a there’s videos on tick talk that talk about? I’m you know like the globe. The the world is like shutting down essentially and so the mom is having to mitigate a lot of misinformation that her daughter’s getting from social media and so We all have responsibility to consume media responsibly. And that’s really hard to do. When our inner panic brandon and our panic mo we want to have information and we want to know when we want to Have THE SOLUTION. And unfortunately there is just no solution. There are many solutions and so unfortunately those I all that new information is changing today. So that doesn’t really allow US time to rest and so when everything is that novel. Unpredictable are nervous systems. Don’t know how to understand all of that information.

00:15:02 – 00:20:00

Our nervous systems naturally have a threshold for which we can understand the process and that whole kind of stress and so when that’s constantly changing and when all that novelty and unpredictability happening staying safe insecure becomes a lot more challenging. Yeah I appreciate the reminder to consume within reason because I definitely am checking too often. I want to know the updates. I’m looking kind of at what’s happening all around the world and so I need to Brennan said that to me yesterday. He’s like. I think maybe you should set a limit on being online and that becomes even more of a challenge. Because I’m home and I’m like Oh what do I do with myself? And so you have all these different suggestions like participating in a group Meditation Online. Giving yourself permission to enjoy time alone. I’m talking about your fears and worries with someone who comfort use of two questions. Where can we find or create a group Meditation Online? And then I’ll ask you who you might turn to with regard to fears and worries yes. Maybe I’ll start with the fears and more is it because I think that ties in nicely with the team approach You want to put people on your team who are going to help you not hurt you. You want people on your team who are GonNa come for you not scare. You want people on your team. Who are going to be that kind of safety net. You can go to intern to In so I added that line about You Know Assemble people on the team or get people in your corner. Who are who will come for you. That’s really important. Drink this period of really You know heightened uncertainty in a lot of stress. That’s that were made to deal with right and I wanted to sort also put Thursday. This isn’t a normal amount of stress that our bodies are now under and so Each you’re finding that for example like you’re hungry or like your opportunities decreasing Or that you’re less likely to recognize like hunger and thirst cues or like you’re noticing that your digestion changing like that’s all very normal responses to stress and so that’s why. Oh also just encourage us to think about the importance of keeping up without routine And so that’s eating regularly like getting dressed on you know Keeping up with our healthy habits that we would normally Keep up with and oftentimes when we think about like our bed or the couch or like our hall. We associate that with our safe place and Some per Lotta people that means like getting into comfy clothes and then you know eating Whatever they want sort of thing right and so By no means Anderson limiting or you know encouraging people to to restrict what they eat. What I’m saying is that it’s important to be mindful of the ways that you’re eating and the way that you’re asleep and Rest and then. Your hunger is also just changing. Just during this period of heightened stress In terms of the meditation there’s many different forms so I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the PELETON APP. But there are some classes online that you can take their so more like structured one so There’s also the call up. There’s a lot of online meditations that are available through through that and I can actually share with you a code. I actually have for the COM- OUT ON IF PEOPLE WANNA checking out for a thirty day. Free trial and it’s a really great op and I’m not being paid to say this but it’s something that I use often. It’s something that I that I find. How folders great sleep meditation. There’s really great just relaxing stories for young people other. It’s it’s pretty diverse in its offering. There’s music from like electric dance. Artists like so. It’s it’s pretty Interesting and it’s always changing so that would be like another option and then you look online as well. There’s a lot of instagram therapists or Folks who are just like moving their businesses online that are offering Free Live Meditations in that kind of stuff and don’t have a resource list of that but Anywhere on instagram. Where where like helping professionals are and I’m sure you can find those resources there. So we’re going to put the code for the free trial of the COMM APP on our website. If you head over to the podcast section at sex with DR JASSER DOT COM. You’ll be able to access that That code so and these APPs are so helpful Another one we’ve used in the past is head space and yet it’s really incredible the way it can change your whole life change the way you feel about your body change your relationship change your relationship to sex when you start as being a little bit more mindful every day it took me about four or five days to get into the head space APP but once I did I immediately found by reap the benefits of it but it was. It was a bit of a challenge to get into it initially and also what I like about what you’re saying is it sounds like there’s so many other things that we can be doing right now to. I don’t want to distract ourselves but just to fill our time and we have more time than we normally would have. I had a meeting with my My staff today and it number one. It was great to get together with everyone.

00:20:00 – 00:25:17

Virtually I thought it was a nice way to connect with everyone and it also created a degree of structure to our day so I I encourage the people that I work with an to to do something that I found helpful which was just plan out my day. Which is I’m GONNA wake up. I’m GonNa do what you said which is make my bed. Get dressed dude. Things I normally do. Even though I’m home by myself or with Jess Then I had some time to do some work. I’m sorry I had some time to read than to do some work then some personal time to do whatever it was and then once again you know read work personal time and then make dinner and call it a day so that. I wasn’t just sitting by my phone sitting by my computer waiting for the latest update. About how the world is apparently coming crashing. End Brandon is a lot more. You’re a lot more disciplined than me because as we were flying home on Sunday night and knew that we’d be going into this fourteen day of fourteen days of isolation together Brennan said. Oh we need to make schedule. And I think it’ll be helpful and took exercise and eat and so yesterday on day one brandon. Did all those things. I did not eighty percent of them. Okay but that’s pretty good. Eighty percent is one hundred percent to me. You know if you can if you can do eighty percent of something that’s pretty damn good right And so I was thinking too about the distress of being trapped with people. Perhaps who don’t support you so I’m brandon. I are pretty lucky while I’m extra lucky because I get to hang out with Brennan for fourteen days But he had no comment on that one should come on. That’s super happy. You cut me mid deep breath teasing but I know that people are forced in some people are forced into situations that maybe are either unsafe or distressful and they actually don’t have a choice. So let’s take a moderate situation. Let’s say you’re stuck with a sibling or stuck with a parent or even a roommate. Who you know makes you feel a little bit tense. How do you suggest someone like that? Precede I’ve thought about this a lot. Actually and it’s something that I don’t really have a concrete answer for but it is one of those situations where you wanted to stock of what is in my control and what is out of my control Of course not in your control is probably being with this person or these people Or maybe even just off and of course all like the global pandemic crises that are happening right and so those I would say are in the box of non your control and so what you WanNa do is get in as much control as possible and so find ways that you can still stay in control on. So maybe that’s like going for walks. Maybe that’s just taking a break Maybe IT spending more time in your room. Maybe it’s You know actually distract yourself like grain was talking about like focusing on Maybe starting hobby those types of things and I think it’s really helpful And when actually a lot of US experienced dress a lot of us kind of pulled to keep busy and staying busy is a way to Kinda minimize stress. What in many ways. It also kind of numbs us to you. Know the stress that’s happening and so Staying busy is helpful to a degree of course and so what I would sort of also encouraged us to think about is that. There’s also an opportunity to to really interrogate. Like what is it about these people that I can’t stand and so I generally help people reframe. Like how can we see this as an opportunity rather than a hindrance or you know like the worst situation ever And so likely people will be able to connect in some ways right and so. It’s not to say that you need to repair relationships. If you’re not ready to do that but I’m sure there are also ways you can make it work. Yeah maybe there are things you can do together that don’t involve deep conversations at this time right that you maybe you can play a board game or maybe you can cook or maybe. There’s some way that you interact more shoulder to shoulder rather than face to face that doesn’t feel as intense and then your advice with regard to your virtual community becomes so important because you can slip into your room hopefully and facetime with a friend and you can text a friend for words of support or you can go on facebook and asked people to post cute puppy and kitten pictures for you to cheer you up. I in. I’m a big fan of technology. Feel that technology is to Vilnai’s because this is really an opportunity to see how technology helps us to thrive in relationships as well not just in business and I’ve been noticing that many of the online courses are offering discounts and sliding scale. So you mentioned a hobby for example This might be the opportunity to go online and like practice a new language or learn floral arrangement or whatever it is you’re into. I’m alert woodworking. I’M GONNA I’M GONNA take up woodworking. Why do I feel like I love? Our furniture is going to be cut off to make an immediate emergency visit to the hospital. They lost fingers or something something. Something that I’ll be doing is actually bought a house in Toronto here and so we are kind of under nation for spare bedroom. So I’m just going to kind of have this in my little like safe place where I just get to kind of isolated if I need to sort of check a little bit and then back from this new way that I I can distract myself to One thing that I also just wanted to I was at of course if you know these relationships that you find yourself isolation with are harmful and of course you don’t.

00:25:17 – 00:30:04

WanNa push yourself right into anything that’s District that your nervous system to a degree that’s GonNa be harmful for you In so that’s why it’s also important to leverage that quarantine right and of course that doesn’t like you said just doesn’t have to be people that you’re living in close quarters with but can be you know online and all that kind of stuff and It’s just it’s really challenging to to get stock of what options available win. You’re living in. That really heightened stress mode so getting calm. I as best as you can. will really help you up for success there. I should ask a question about people who are kind of feeling. Distressed by every little symptom in their body If you know that you’re healthy but your mind wanders and you start worrying and you perhaps become very anxious and you work yourself into a fit that you’re not going to be. Okay how do you do? You have any tools or strategies for people to calm themselves down or bring themselves back and get grounded. Yeah the first step is to be aware of it so you want to bring in awareness All of the ways in which you’re either catastrophes and you’re out of proportion or Kind of making a six situation bigger because on the other spectrum of there’s also minimizing as well right and so if you’re looking to change any those patterns again I see you want to do is become aware of them. I call When when people are catastrophe I call that monkey brain and not just so noticing. Like when you’re swinging from branch branch realizing like Oh in this could be true in this feature or what if this happens and all my goodness then that means that this is going to happen and so the second stop will be to find ways to bring yourself back into the present moment based on what is in your control and the evidence that you have and so Away that you can simply do that is just a stick in the here now. Of course we we cannot prick future. We don’t have a crystal ball so again. Just that awareness of the present moment is going to really help re-director focus when we lived too much in the present. Then of course outlines a heightened stress and anxiety and even panic so Getting present in getting just based on what you know you in. The current moment is really helpful. That can be really challenging real when we have family members or friends or you know little ones are life who live in the future right and they really spend a lotta time like in that. What if mode? And so what I encourage people to do. Something called co-regulation And the basic definition of Corey Galician is using our com to help someone else achieve. Calm as well and so. You’re finding that you know you’re you’re doing okay. But maybe a lot of other people are kind of going into mass panic. Is You WANNA do some correlation activities? So things like helping other people Come back into the president as well. Anything that tool is really helpful for for parents or room mates or for you know anyone who has little people in their lives. Where again we tend to really Kinda blow things? Out of proportion are fear and panic Who’s older normal responses to stress? So I don’t want to you know. Shame anyone for having a very normal reactions to a very abnormal situation. Like I think it’s important to be clear that the these are very abnormal circumstances that were having to navigate the at this time so again. It’s important to really kind of recalibrate our expectations for ourselves and then other people and so when you say help bring somebody back to the present. How might you do that? Is it like through breathing as it through? Different physical exercises is it. Affection in some cases any specific suggestions. Let’s save for parent to child or partner partner So the the Challenger here with With physical or social distancing now becoming another layer to to this pandemic is in fact that I would normally suggest that we use touch to to Initiate coregulation. A touch really to and we can see that right from very early on our lives when Moms and DADS put babies on their chests rate to use touch to like bring into sues a child and so Of course there are ways you can use safe touch and I don’t think that it’s it’s not realistic to to say you know. Parents can’t touch their kids like during this time but as safe as possible. I would encourage parents but then also just our loved ones. The again incorporate new healthy ways of touch and hugging. That’s like you know just soothing. Each other in any kind of way to begin. But then of course being safe and practicing our physical proximity With all those and I know that’s really challenging to navigate and unfortunately can’t Kinda give the hard and fast rule of how to incorporate into your relationship amidst cove it but That it’s it. It is something to keep in mind when I don’t want to minimize the again. The value touching helping ever else kinda chief Com And then of course you can use your voice.

00:30:04 – 00:35:17

You can Use simple phrases such as like it’s GonNa be okay like you know we’re going to be safe for taking the appropriate measures to make sure that everything’s GonNa be okay And so the the main kind of Rhyme or lists that I give people is what does it look like. What does it sound like. And what does it feel like? And so Look like coregulation could look like touch. It could look like offering a softer voice. It could. It could look like not blowing everything. Out of proportion it could look like having a level three response and all a level ten response And what does it sound like so those simple phrases that you can say to someone that might come down and then what does it feel like? It’s obviously going to feel a lot more regulated in a lot more natural and normal To to come at it from a more stress reducing approach you know one other piece. I saw on your instagram and folks. I’m a big fan of Jason’s to grab Mitts M S. W Jake with a lot of really practical action based solution focused Advice summed up in a way that I wouldn’t be able to sum IT UP. But you talk about wanting to recognize this as an opportunity I’m just going to read it rather than trying to paraphrase. You say I hope we recognize this pandemic as an opportunity to witness the ways in which something so small can disrupt and interrupt even the biggest and most entrenched patterns in living. This is all in action and you talk about how we can learn from this and what the upside will be in terms of learning the opportunity to slow down to witness To interrupt and name the ways are are narration of what’s going on can reinforce racism xenophobia colonialism which you see as the positives that we might draw on an individual and social level from this experience think in our fear in our panic we often create a story that is not a nice one right and so when we don’t have information try to get information and when we don’t have access to accurate information we make it up and so when we’re trying to create this story in our head around you know what’s happening. Oftentimes we get wrong. And I think it’s important for us to name name. This is our opportunity to get it right. And so that’s you know. Keeping our resources factual keeping them informational and educational and keeping them scientific right. And so we’re not making a information. We’re not making up numbers not blowing things out of proportion again. We want to keep things very realistic and very simple but also very scientific and so I look at this as an opportunity for us to open up more conversations about the things that you mentioned because You know it really is to me. It’s astounding the ways in which something that we cannot even see has the ability to really throw us all off of our game right in really kind of force us to make some very new and very quick decisions about how we are going to stay safe just as a community but can also just like as global system and. I think that this is really kind of forcing governments to talk. I think it’s really forcing family members to plan and talk and it’s forcing us all to kind of come together in ways that We wouldn’t if this would be true and so I don’t say this offer this as a way to go what’s happening to really bypass You know the importance of of course like how serious pandemic is and so I say everything in that post that you just read in addition to all the other things that I Also think that people should know when people should here and so that post doesn’t live in isolation they think it also works alongside of all the other things that I of course right about in in speak about which is the power of US coming together and in safety and nervous system regulation nourishment and Really reducing the that that we experience on a very global scale to says people in so I was hoping that it could just be a way an perspective shift of how we can reframe. What’s going on so that we can be narrate. What’s going on in so and again that narration. I think that I’m interested in is is the ways that we can shift away from this idea of You know US versus them and more like how can we see other Come together yeah. I appreciate that perspective shift because I think it’s really easy to look at. How this individually affects us And you know it’s easy to be frustrated. Like oh I I’m out of work. I’ve Lost Gigs. Where I’m losing money or you know. Your stock portfolio is down but in in the wake of things for me for example. I’m very reminded that people don’t have the food they need. People don’t have the shelter. They need a I just left Jamaica where my family is where the the health authorities keep talking about washing your hands and not necessarily acknowledging that not everyone has running water or access to soap and this is just there lived realities so I mean I think that being grateful takes us a long way and can help to center us and help us to live in the present moment so I appreciate your perspective and I appreciate the reminder that this is a chance to slow down and for someone like me.

00:35:17 – 00:37:59

Who’s WHO’s very lucky in life. I do kind of appreciate the chance to slow down Obviously I choose the life on the road and that’s like that’s the way I love to live but I’m also I guess I don’t WanNa say thankful but very accepting of the fact that I’m in the House for the next fourteen days and it is what it is and I think I’m going to clean things up and purge and hopefully get a little bit of extra work done and a little bit more relaxation and and I find your posts on instagram really Reassuring even soothing so encouraged people to follow along. Really appreciate you taking the time. I think that your insights are very helpful to everyone out there definitely to me. Always just stealing free therapy on the show. Right but little self-diagnosis fans taking notes. So thank you so much. I know that folks can find you on instagram. Where else can they find? You can find me at my clinic. We actually unfortunately just recently had this shutdown. But I’m the clinical director of a clinic in Toronto at Young Sinclair called straight up health. And I asked Paul. We help young people and families with any mental health struggles at the having just as a family unit but then also individually for young people. And so yeah you can find me straight up health at. Www strap health dot ca We are currently moving auto practices onto a virtual tele therapy. And so we’re doing phone and video sessions which is pretty cool and a new way to kind of deliver the services that we’ve already been offering so Yeah dossier. I’m so happy to hear that. I’m glad to see things moving online. I saw the Ontario government. We have a single payer system. Folks here in Ontario has recently added a line for online telemedicine so I see that people can have online screenings for cove nineteen on on Maple for example get mutable dot CA. And I think this is really a cool thing and it’s obviously we. Nobody wanted these circumstances to arise but there will be some positive. Hopefully that comes out of it so where we’re at folks. I hope you’re hanging in there. Thank you so much for being with US Jake much-appreciated they see both. I really appreciate too great to connect. Thank you both for for falling along and For Love and when I do that’s where we are warming. Thanks thanks to you for listening folks wherever you’re at. I hope you’re staying safe staying comfortable taking care of both physical and your mental health and we’ll be back next week with a whole new episode. Hopefully we’ll some good news unfolding locally in our communities and throughout the world you’re listening to the sex with Dr Jazz podcast improve your sex life improve your life.