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Sex with Dr. Jess


December 11, 2019

How to Have a Sexy Holiday Season: A Sexologist’s Guide to the 12 Days Christmas

Your holiday to-do list may be bursting at the seams, but we can always squeeze in some extra intimacy. Though sex may not rank as a top priority during this busy season, it’s important to note that a little affection, connection and lovin’ may actually reduce your stress levels by lowering your blood pressure, boosting your immune system and increasing your energy levels.

Give these simple 12 Days of Christmas strategies a try and enjoy a happier, healthier holiday season:

Day 1: Give your honey a hand!

Brighten your lover’s day with with a sensual hand massage first thing in the morning. A quickie session lasting just 5 minutes will give you enough time to showcase your manual skills and cultivate an intimate connection that will last throughout the day. Use almond oil or a candy-cane scented hand cream as you stroke their fingers between your warm hands and swirl your thumbs in circular motions over their tender palms.

Day 2: Send a sexy card.

You’ll need to plan a few days ahead for this one, but it will be well worth it! Slide a sexy photo or a provocative Christmas wish (e.g. All I want for Christmas is your tongue licking icing off of my…) in the mail and send it to your sweetie. Even if you live together, receiving mail that doesn’t include the words “balance due” is always fun and your card is sure to stand out among the piles of signature-only greeting cards.

Day 3: Try a new position!

Have you ever tried of the The Open Sleigh Position? If not, the holidays offer the perfect opportunity to refresh your sexual repertoire with a little physical experimentation. For this position, one partner gets on their hands and knees with several pillows piled beneath their upper body for support and the other partner kneels behind them. They slide inside and lifts the other partner’s legs to rest on either side of their hips. Designed for intense orgasms, The Open Sleigh Position allows for simultaneous stimulation of both their A-Spot and clitoris.

Day 5: Unwrap a sexy gift.

Presents are all the more exciting when you’re not expecting them so surprise your lover a few days early with a gift that inspires you to get it on. Coconut oil is perfect for full-body massages and a simple blindfold not only heightens sensory perception, but often gives us a confidence boost to try new things. Other sexy options include erotic storybooks (you can even write your own!), chocolate body paint, soft paintbrushes for lube-play, sparkling wine (its bubbles can enhance your oral routine), melting massage candles, a silk scarf (for bondage obviously) and fresh mistletoe. It really is the thought that counts, so let your mind wander as the sexy thoughts abound…

Day 6: Give the gift of technique.

What better way to say “Happy Holidays!” than by trying out a new sexual technique? You lover is sure to volunteer to be your guinea pig. Whether you seduce them with Breath Kisses (gentle kisses in which your lips hover over the surface of the skin without actually making contact) or slurp away with The Windshield Wiper (sucking them from base to tip while sweeping your tongue back and forth like wiper blades and paying special attention to his frenulum), the novelty of a new move will extend the sexual tension beyond the twelve days of Christmas. I’ll bury my shameless plug in Day 6 with a reminder that my book, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks, is packed with step-by-step techniques and some very sexy instructive photos.

Day 7: Make a sexy playlist.

Whether you select songs that remind you of your early days together or symphonies that reach climactic heights, music is sure to help set the mood for a sexy holiday season. Play your mix in the car during your long drives (the kids will be none the wiser) or play it in the background while you’re prepping for your holiday parties. As long as you don’t put your shirt on inside-out, no one will notice if you’re a few minutes late.

Day 8: Have silent sex.

Will you be sleeping over at your in-law’s place or offering your guest room to family members this month? Don’t let your temporary roommates put a damper on your love life. Instead, relish in silent sex that replaces moans and dirty talk with the intensity of eye contact and lascivious facial expressions. You may even want to experiment with a cloth gag to add an element of kink the experience.

Day 9: Get naughty with bows and ribbons.

The foreplay for this one begins at your family’s gift exchange! Steal flirtatious glances and revel in the secrecy as you collect bows, ribbons and other decor to wear as sexy props later that night. Think ribbons taped to your nipples or a Santa hat draped over other sexy body parts… Anticipation is elemental to sexual pleasure, so let the fun begin early in the morning.

Day 10: Be Santa’s Little Helper.

Let your lover know that you’re thinking of them even on the most hectic of days by doing a small, thoughtful favour sometime before noon: warm up their car in the morning, deliver their favourite snack to their office, iron their blouse, heat up their gloves in the dryer, leave a tasty treat on the driver’s seat or pack a lunch to keep them fuelled while running errands.

Feeling appreciated boosts our self-esteem, lowers our stress levels and makes us feel sexier. Translation: little favours lead to more sex!


Day 11: Serve a liquid breakfast in bed.

Bring your lover a coffee, tea, smoothie or mimosa in bed and linger over your drinks for a few minutes to strengthen your connection before your part to begin your daily routine.

Starting the day with an intimate moment reinforces your connection and can even reduce the number of fights you have during this potentially stressful time of year.

Day 12: Give the gift of fantasy.

Ask your lover to share a fantasy or sex dream and select one or two elements that you can play out tonight! For example, if your honey dreams of having sex in the ocean, get it on in the tub/shower by candlelight. If your sweetheart fantasizes about sex with a stranger, set up a role play where you meet in a bar or make out in your car. Fantasies are not meant to be fulfilled in their entirety, but the underlying themes can lay the foundation for a lifetime of mutual desire, passion and satisfaction.

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