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Sex with Dr. Jess


October 4, 2019

Touchless Orgasms

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Nikki Morgan shares insights to help you consider new ways to approach orgasm using your breath, movements, thoughts and more. She discusses ways to step outside your comfort zone and be more positive about your body.

Follow Nikki on Instagram & Twitter. Be sure to also follow The Touch Experience on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook.

Also check out Nikki’s upcoming events below, and find more info out on her website.


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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Touchless Orgasms

00:00:05 – 00:26:42

you’re listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight welcome them to the sex with dr jess podcast i’m your co host brandon where here with my lovely partner dr jess hey hey think ever stop calling you dr jess it’s kinky doctor i’m gonna roll with it you know at the dinner table you can call me just but in bed i want dr sure problem i like you to say yes dr just no doctor okay more doctor dr stop stops dove before we get started a big thank you to our sponsors desire experience check them out clothing optional cruises clothing optional adult only resorts on the mayan riviera era at desire experience today we have the pleasure of being joined by clinical sexologist and immersive healing ealing artist nicky morgan thanks for being here oh thank you for having me i’ve been reading about your work i’ve been hearing about it through the grapevine grapevine you offer an experience called the touch loose orgasm i do i do now i’ve been in touch this car washing that’s really cool i think in high school and may have had a touch of oregon you’re allowed that you’re so boxers count no probably close though oh wow now as much as i liked the touch loose car wash i can’t imagine that it compares to touch us orgasms orgasms so can you walk us through what this experience looks like from the gecko sure sure what it looks like it doesn’t look like much right so it just looks like someone is laying down in front of me and i’m waving my hands over them and sometimes their bodies convulsed sometimes they just let go sometimes they get very vocal it’s it says numerous as orgasms in general but what’s actually happening behind the scenes this is one i am assisting them in silencing their corp. body and i am working from the space of week come from pleasure we come from absolute love we come from infinite so when we silence is the observation of our physical then we are able to access other and other is so much more and so some people have experiences of leaving their body sometimes and it’s not by no means do i give the orgasm i only allow or assist in in and helping them to observe the other so if there is a lots of trauma they’ll be able to know exactly where that trauma lies is in their body we can identify it and they have the choice of surrendering to it or we can take take a break and return to it but ideally that universal energy that we all share the thing that animates us when we allow ourselves to surrender under to that it it allows for waves of of pleasure and and oneness and you know some very psychedelic like experiences and so is it just you in the room walk us through the entire experience so it is just me in the room when it’s a private session touches orgasm is one of the modalities that i use in my clinical work however when you see me touring uh-huh with panini poets or sometimes i’ll do during touch during orgasmic day away or anyone of the immersive events then it can be a room two hundred people three hundred people and i will call one or two volunteers up and because there are more people the the activity is a bit different because we all share atoms we are all made of atoms so if there is a kink in the vibration in the room room then it will affect the orgasm so optimal that everyone in the room is calm feels feels good feels feels flow before this person that has volunteered is brought to full body orgasm so it is it is a completely one experience and you know i’ve been able to you know i just did a show or we’re going to do a show on silver spring but silvers last silver spring show did in maryland there were there were two couples that were fighting in the room and and i could feel that so so we had to stop the show that’s a walk over to them see how they were doing and get them to kind of release some of that tension so that we can and then share that energy in the room again so that we were able to get the the orgasmic results that we’re looking for and so is there any sound in the room you said that you’re moving your hands over them without touching can you describe the rest of the process sure absolutely so i do feel much of it out if i know that there if i feel like the person’s mind is moving around a bit then al assists by using some sound like drumming something that might be like shamanic drumming or something that can be very monotonous or if they have a lot of tension in their body then there might be some kind of relaxed music or for or sometimes singing bowls you know i use i use all the tools i use all the tools but it really just depends on the person however when it’s a large group i use all the tools i do curate that for them so just because i i’ve never seen this or senior perform when you’re when you’re facilitating this is the person are they fully they’re fully clothed they’re fully clothed and they’re having this full body orgasm in front of potentially a couple of hundred couple of hundred people that’s correct yeah and the there is primarily women or warm it’s primarily women that will volunteer but what i find in my work for the last fifteen years is that the women tend to share more in the groups and the men tend to reach out individually to speak on more vulnerable situations however when we’re in those those rooms where there are hundreds of people i do still get mail volunteers when they do come up and the the process how does it take cowan could it take so the longest it’s taken me about fifteen minutes the shortest route maybe like forty seconds that person kim primed you give them instructions are they supposed to breathe a certain way or these visualize could you give us some some little schumer if i were lying down what you would say to me okay yes so optimally i’d want you to be aware of your body so i might bring you through your toes and your knees and your ankles and and just make sure that you know if there’s any tension anywhere in the body not that we ask that part of our bodies to release that we are subconscious lives in our physical bodies so when we are able to address that’s it right away it we’re already ahead of the game breathing breath is important breath is important in everything we do and as human and being sometimes we get so distracted we forget to take full breath animals breathe full fully end you become more aware when you breathe fully so so yes i just ask them to take full breath which is something that we need to do anyway where i recommend that we do you can breathe however you wish and i i do i do suggest that they get as comfortable as they would like so if there are things that are restraining their risk their ankles their ears whatever it might be and then i do ask them to remove it and if they want to be stark naked and that’s completely fine the idea is that there is absolutely no judgment judgment in this space and i do teach people how to do it but the way i do it when it comes to clinical space you do who needs to be able to hold you need to hold space as a vessel and a as a non judgmental vessel because sometimes i may get visions visions of things that people are going through or or judgments that they have of themselves are things they may have gone through and if you yourself have have a judgment on that then you no longer become a vessel and then it becomes more challenging to help move that energy to bring them to that blissful space that they’re looking to access and when you have folks with penises are they having an orgasm with jackie relation without ejaculation does it depend on the experience the person so thank you for asking that question that is really wonderful because folks with penises or just in general there tends to be an understanding that orgasm and ejaculation are one of the same which is by far not the case so the penis owners that do happen to come onto my table are they do not ejaculate there may be some pre ejaculate that may happen but that can happen in just any thoughts that you may have or you know so yeah i think that’s an important distinction because oftentimes we associate penile orgasms with jackie but they’re distinct processes so jackie relation is the expulsion of fluid fluid from the penis via the re throw and orgasm is the experience of overwhelming pleasure often accompanied by a feeling of release uh-huh and orgasmic contractions in the pelvic floor maybe in the eighty s and you can learn to have what we call dry dry orgasms so there are people who have dry orgasms because of retrograde ejaculation and that’s more oftentimes if there’s a evolvement malfunction and so that’s a separate issue but those who want to have dry orgasms often have multiple orgasms more intense orgasms is that something you talking to each about oh my gosh yes thank you dr jim i love you so much yes these are extremely important parts of my work i my work is not approached via gender at all so i really do work to show people that when we are able to access those multiple orgasms in however it is it is found and the machinery is just whatever you’re born in right you you start to shift even perspective on you you start to understand abundance differently you start to understand time differently um your inner critic really takes a back seat when you’re able to learn how to use it strategically and then that’s where her healing really begins and and even beyond healing but then when you get to play with it in the world oh my we are such magical creatures as you know and it’s only magical because we have not been visiting some of the things that that we’re talking about here so so yes yes this is something that absolutely i i use and it requires us us to unlearn and relearn ourselves so that’s that’s where i am with that now now you work with orgasm as a healing modality with your clients do what does that mean let me start with what we’re used to what what we’re used to is orgasm being something that it feels really great and it’s great for release and you know we drop everything and we rearrange everything to make sure that we get that right and because we tend to lean towards immediate gratification in the west it doesn’t allow house space always to explore a little bit more of what orgasm can do so when you start to think about what orgasm does to the body right it when when you when you approach orgasm it has very similar results that meditation has except it’s far more potent it silences the frontal lobe which means that it shuts shuts down your fear which is a massive thing right around the world that we have an issue with fear so it silence is the inner critic and the inner critic is part of our ego right and i know we always discuss about killing our egos but our ego is what helps us to understand stand that i mean you are you that is the tree and when you kill the ego everything and all of what we all of what we are floods in and so it dissolves everything so it feels really great wait for that moment when you touch orgasm because it allows you the other observation in orgasm you’re not thinking about the dishes you’re not you’re not thinking about the faces you’re not you’re not thinking about you know how much noise you might be making at that moment right the world nothing right and so when you when you return from that that ocean of influence you know you you feel good you feel you feel relaxed you know so what i’ve done is just take in a series of exercises and understandings and made it really really practical for us to be able to walk through some of these things that we can learn how to extend our experience in orgasm to a point where we can allow it to be transcendent and the results that we get from it allows us to visit certain traumas and face them and decide even if we can’t verbalize it when we feel with that trauma is in that transcendent orgasm you have the choice of allowing your body to relax in that moment to say i want to surrender more i wanna surrender more and so and what i call that as pleasure capacity you know so we’re stretching that so think about it like if you’ve ever ver- engaged with a partner and they’re doing something you just tickling for example and um and the tickle becomes so much that it becomes almost painful and and you like okay okay i have to stop all right so let’s stop there however the machinery that you’re built with you know if you are able to use certain certain techniques it allows you to stretch your capacity for that and so we do that in orgasm so how do you extend that pleasure capacity oh that’s the class that you got and it involves is it breath work energy ritz is it all of it it’s it’s all it’s all of it you know a lot of my clients when we have these classes or these workshops they ended ended up leaving crying because there’s there’s a truth in innate truth that happens inside that you remember you know and then once you remember member that it it opens everything up so yes it has its breath work yes it’s it’s it’s stretches yes it’s it’s speaking certain words it’s it’s taking certain understandings of what you know in the world which are so positive of in the world and flipping it like where you like oh that doesn’t make any sense why have have i been doing this my whole life oh my gosh what is going on so you know dealing with orgasm awesome and sexuality for that matter because they’re not the same and orgasm does not have to be sexual unless you’re me and can you think everything is sexual a hamburger with food and piece of meat you just a a side note on that how you approach because we could this is physics this is physics sal you know we’re talking about fractionals right we are nature so even how you approach approach your food how you order your food how you eat your food how you decide to share your food shares everything about who you are in the bedroom what kind on a leader you are you know i mean are you a secret keeper whatever it is it says so much again it’s all fractures it’s the the information is there information has always been there i’m not doing anything new this is not magic i’m just sharing information that we already know we just for some reason compartmentalize so much and then add the traumas in so it creates all these boundaries andries in our minds that we don’t think to connect any of them and so much of it has to do with their discomfort with our own bodies and you do work to help people become i’m more comfortable with their bodies do some nude escapes or new to treat new retreats tell me about i do i do so that and nudity is a large part of my work i every year we i do every year i do body positive positive beach day and i welcome everyone who wishes to enjoy the beach in the northeast to come and and this year will be the first year we’ll be doing it in georgia and we doing at a nudist spa and you know before i started doing these new days i would do this mirror exercise and you know even sometimes i mean before i started what’d getting venues i would do it in my apartment i would have a long mirror it’d be a bunch of us and out of all of the workshops i’ve ever done the mirror exercise is always the hardest and people standing in front of the mirror to say okay get as comfortable as you like now i want you to get a little bit more uncomfortable and then i want you to identify the things that you love about it yourself and then what happens you can start to understand where your own trauma czar because you’re speaking out loud and you’re hey you know i love my shoulder i love you know and you talk about these things and then all of a sudden you say oh you know and this scar oh yeah the scar was really bad and then you know and then and you know on my breasts betray me because i had breast cancer and you know and then you go onto a tangent that you forgot that you were saying the things that you love about yourself right so then it it allows us to filter what’s going on so it teaches us it teaches us how to observe ourselves and say hey you know what my legs take me places places my fingers pick things up oh my gosh my eyes allow me to see i don’t have to keep walking into these walls you know like come on you don’t you don’t argue a tree three and say this tree is prettier than this tree i mean maybe you do but you get what i’m saying we you know it’s it’s just it’s just programming so allowing ourselves to deprogrammed on that and then there’s also a layer of giving and receiving an understanding that part so after the after we finish that we turn to our audience and we and when we asked permission are you ready to receive right and then like popcorn style and everyone will say the things that they love about that person oh aw and that can also be extremely difficult receiving compliments right can be harder than giving call my gosh yes ask and it’s such a contradictory world we live in it’s a culture in which you’re supposed to love yourself in respect yourself and appreciate your body yet there are messages at every turn telling you you are not good enough right but i can sell you something that’ll make you better in many ways where these messages are routed so when you do a a nude day on the beach or at one of these retreats how do you help people to get comfortable do you have any advice for folks listening listening if they would like to go someplace where they could be nude but they’re not quite there yet how how do you become comfortable in your own skin oh my goodness that’s such a beautiful question and so i’ll from experience the popular questions that i get before we get got there because i usually pre- prepare everyone penis owners they’ll say well what if i get an erection and everybody’s gonna think i’m this person and all that shame right about having an action you know even something like that and so i actually addressed the whole i address the whole and i and i teach them about an atom changes behavior based on the observer so so if you have erection rather than an allowing yourself to crowd out in shame you know allow yourself to take some deep breaths you know be aware of it and i know that sometimes in it’s just a really deep that’s why i have to be there with them but when it comes to a very heightened moments where you know sometimes the trauma and the idea the of being confident in your body sometimes it can cause like burning sensations in your body and you know you can’t shut it off as easily as people say so in that there are physical activities that i give them there are there are pressure points that we use on our bodies to to to learn that relaxation they’re breathing techniques that we use to relax that and then also there are safety buddies all around you know we we embrace and also awareness of self and we laugh about it you know so if you do have an erection and someone’s sitting next to you know don’t go waving it around and their faces you oh you know what i mean so you know it’s it’s a matter of awareness of self awareness of your surroundings awareness of giving awareness of receiving you know that’s that’s that’s what we do with that so we deal with and we have conversations and and by the time we walk them through it you know everyone is fine no one wants to leave it’s a lot less scary than you realize going into the the notion of being naked in a group for for the first time of course is overwhelming brandon i have spoken about it many times and it’s the number one question i hear from the folks with penises what if i get hard yeah which is so interesting because has when it comes to sexual experiences they’re always asking what if i can’t get hard for there are so many fears and it really speaks to how we define sexuality how we define realty liddy but once everybody’s naked you actually feel more uncomfortable in close for example you and i the group we’re with here in atlanta there’s a lingerie party tomorrow night and i realized oh i didn’t bring any lingerie and in fact i would be more uncomfortable going being in in irregular dress because i would be out of place so you might think oh that sounds intimidating to go to a lingerie party but for me i’d be more intimidated to go in my the business dress that i’m wearing right now and so sometimes just talking through the shame can help to put it in perspective often present and then i also think that it it’s good practice to be naked by yourself i because oftentimes were nervous to be naked around others because we’re not even comfortable being naked on her own and we have to undo all those messages passages of shame and embarrassment and secrecy around the body i’m so fascinated by the work you do i don’t know anyone else doing this work in the field of clinical sexology touched lewis orgasm i’ve heard of extended orgasm but from a different perspective where can people follow along learn learn more and keep learning from you well my website is the touch experienced dot com and all my social media handles across platforms is is at nikki experience which is an i.

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00:26:44 – 00:27:20

p. r. e. n. c. e. all one word or touch experience at touch experience experience instagram always imagery facebook you know so dear reach out definitely excellent thank you so much for being here and sharing in your your experience with us it’s very interesting thank you thank you thank you for doing this work i love it i can’t i can’t complain campaign thank sprint and thank you to you for listening once again checkout at desire experience online as well and we’ll be linking to although social handles mentioned today we’ll be back again next friday stay with