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Sex with Dr. Jess


September 30, 2019

Sexuality Superheroes: Alisha Fisher

This week’s Sexuality Superhero is Alisha Fisher. Alisha has worked under Jess in the past, learning from her in both business and theory. She has since butterflied into her own expertise, teaching clients about her insights on intimacy, and embracing their desire for sexual pleasure. Read her feature below and get to know Alisha a little better.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It was all the way back in Elementary School, that I found myself being fascinated with how people in intimate partnerships interacted. Asking myself questions like: Why were intimate relationships important? What was happening to our bodies that made us crave intimate touch? etc. Of course, my language was not as developed at that time, but I quickly became the sex-guru-go-to for all questions surrounding gender identity, gender roles, sexual orientations, Kinky connections, Role Play, relationship advice, sexual advice and so forth!

I blindly went into the world of Psychology, thinking that maybe my career was somewhere in this vast discipline. Second year Social Psychology was where I started to find my grove in Close Relationship Studies, and it was there that I started to understand the differences between a sexuality researcher, therapist and coach/educator.

As a Relationship, Intimacy and Flirtation Coach, I really pride myself on utilizing a variety of frameworks to enhance my skills as a Coach in this field. I also have a great “day job” at a local Sexual Assault Centre, where I educate the greater community around topics like Consent, Healthy Relationships, Boundaries, Supporting a Disclosure, and Making Spaces More Trauma Informed. These careers really go hand-in-hand as many are wanting to have great passionate connections, but have experienced a trauma that hinders their ability to feel it.

What is the best part of the job?

For me, the field of sexuality is always changing and evolving. Whether it’s research, a new Kinky term, or the latest hashtag; I’m always growing and learning with this fun and exciting career. Let’s just say, it’s not a boring job!

For my work with clients, it’s watching people learn to love themselves, to allow themselves to receive the pleasure they deserve, and assert the boundaries they never thought they could.

What is the most challenging part of the job?

Definitely dealing with gate-keeps, whether that be social media, governments, parents, sex-negative people, that are limiting topics of sexual health education and LGBTQ2S+ identities. Our language is being censored, silenced and deleted at an alarming rate, so I’m always having to reflect on the terms I use so that they don’t get flagged as “too sexual” or “immoral”, while maintaining the core of my statement.

What is your most important piece of advice that has the potential to revolutionize relationships?

Explore, Love Yourself, Listen, and Communicate.

Never be afraid to reflect on yourself, and relationships with other people. It’s okay to grow, it’s okay to change.

What do you do to decompress and take care of yourself given that you spend so much time helping and caring for others?

I really go full throttle in my career as a Coach and a Community Engagement Facilitator at a Sexual Assault Centre; so quiet time doesn’t release the stress that builds up. My favourite way to decompress is through concerts. There is something about being in a crowd screaming and singing at the top of your lungs (or it may be the crowd surfing and mosh pits) that just rejuvenates me and releases all the tension in my body and mind.

What do you want people to know about your work as an Intimacy Coach?

That it is a real job, and a job that it utilized by a large amount of people. There is a genuine curiosity about the world of sexuality and how it is not only validated by lived experiences, but also scientific, peer reviewed research.

My work as a coach pulls from multi-disciplinary perspectives of clinical approaches, scientific inquiry, theoretical frameworks and, of course, lived experiences. This variety of frameworks allows me to utilize diverse methods to support my clients journey.

Where can we learn more about your work?

You can find all my events, radio shows, blogs, social media and contact information on my website.

Follow Alisha on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.

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