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Sex with Dr. Jess


August 23, 2019

Four Ways To Connect With Your Lover This Weekend

The weekend is upon us and if you don’t mindfully carve out quality time with your partner, you may find that you only spend time together as roommates or co-parents.  Just as you have to plan and dedicate time to fitness, health and business, you need to specifically schedule time to be together as a couple. The beginning of the weekend is a great time to create a ritual that remind you both that you’re intimately connected — you don’t just live together, but you share an intimate bond that is worth nurturing.

Here are a few options for jump-starting your connection today:

1. Eliminate technoference. Put your phones in a box and place them in the car, a cupboard or in the basement. The mere presence of a cell phone (even if it’s in your pocket) detracts from connection, trust and collaboration, so invest in quality time with your partner at least once a week. You’ll naturally practice being present and mindful without distractions and this can carry over into your daily interactions throughout the week.

2. Begin your weekend by gazing into one another’s eyes for two minutes. Even if it’s awkward at first, you can benefit from an increase in oxytocin and you’ll likely feel more connected and calm to begin your weekend.

3. Have sex! You don’t have to have intercourse — all forms of consensual physical affection with a loved one can increase connection, relaxation and trust. Physical affection can even reduce pain and lower cortisol levels, so begin on a Friday night to reap the benefits all week long. You can make it a quickie or take turns so that one of you lends the other a hand on Friday after work, and the other reaps the rewards on Saturday morning.

4. Try a complaint dump. Rather than letting negativity permeate your entire weekend, set aside 5-10 minutes before the weekend officially begins to air your grievances about work, family, friends, etc. and then let them go! No more complaining for the rest of the weekend.

If you’re interested in spending even more time together and investing in your relationship, check out our Mindful Sex course, which offers a series of activities to help you be more present — in and out of the bedroom.

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