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Sex with Dr. Jess


August 29, 2018

Sex Quirks We All Share (Even If We Won’t Admit It)

Sexual quirks are more common than you think. Which ones will you admit to?

Let’s face it. We’re all a little quirky. And when it comes to sex, we each have our own set of idiosyncrasies that we’re sometimes afraid to admit to. But the experts will assure you that as awkward or weird as your sexual quirks may seem, they’re probably more common than you think.

Which of these sexual quirks will you admit to?

Humping Furniture

You’ve likely heard that most women (two-thirds of us) don’t orgasm through intercourse alone, but you may be surprised to learn that many do so with a little help from the kitchen table. Humping furniture is actually quite common since so many women reach orgasm through rubbing against firm surfaces.

Many of my clients learn to orgasm by grinding up against the edges of their dining room tables or climbing atop the plush arm of their La-Z Boy chairs. I even encourage them to do so. It may not be the sexiest image imaginable, but if it produces great orgasms, I’m all for it! I just remind them to sanitize the area before inviting guests over for dinner.

Curved Penises

Just like our hair, noses, fingers and toes, penises are not always straight. And it’s a good thing too since some of the most common places that you put a penis are not perfectly straight either. The majority of penises have some degree of curvature when erect and the notion that the angle is somehow related to masturbation is completely erroneous. So if your penis or the penis you love is a bit curvy, you’re perfectly normal.

There are few exceptions to this rule, as in the case of Peyronie’s disease in which the curvature may be accompanied by pain, scar tissue and erection difficulties.

Non-Sexual Lubrication

Our bodies work in mysterious ways. In the throes of passion, you can find yourself bone dry between your thighs (that’s why lube is so important!) and in the middle of a dry office meeting, you might find yourself soaking wet. It’s annoying, right?

What you’re experiencing isn’t necessarily sexual lubrication, but normal vaginal discharge.

The vagina is like a self-cleaning oven and releases fluids to cleanse itself and maintain a healthy pH balance. You’ll notice that your discharge changes with your cycle, diet, medication use and stress, but it should be clear or whitish and have a mild scent. If you notice a strong scent, yellow or greenish colouring or a clumpy texture, you should visit your health care provider to have it checked out.


Tasting Your Own Brand

Some do it on the regular for pleasure and others do so once or twice out of curiosity. Whatever your motivation, you’re not alone. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to taste your fluids and your body will break them down and digest them as they would any other liquid.

Passing Gas During Sex

Though women are less likely to admit to it than men, farting during sex is more common than you think. With all that pressure in the sensitive pelvic and abdominal region, sometimes one slips out in the heat of the moment. Although passing gas during sex can be embarrassing, it’s a natural part of our bodily functions and it’s healthier than holding it in. This is why a sense of humour can take you a long way in bed…

“Far-Out” Fantasies

From being whipped and sucking on toes to group sex and torrid affairs, your fantasies are actually not all that quirky. We may not talk about our secret desires, but we all have them. If you’ve ever dreamed or fantasized about being peed on, you’re normal. And if you want to walk on your lover’s back in stilettos while he cries out in pain, you’re normal too. Many of my clients enjoy the dream of being derided while having sex and others fantasize about being held down while they resist with all their might.

It’s normal to fantasize about scenarios that you’d never ever want to play out in real life including those that are at odds with your core values. That’s the power of sexual fantasies — they don’t have to come true!

Faking Orgasms

Women aren’t the only ones putting on a show in bed. Men do it too! A recent study found that 28 percent of men have faked an orgasm.

The reasons for faking orgasms are varied. Some just want the sex to end without hurting their lover’s feelings and others have difficulty climaxing for physical and psychological reasons. Just like women, men’s sexual response is impacted by stress, diet, mood, medications and overall health. However, there is often pressure for men to orgasm each and every time they have sex and this unrealistic expectation can impede the open communication required to address this relatively common challenge.