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Sex with Dr. Jess


February 14, 2018

How to Spice Things Up for Valentine’s Day (All Ages For Couples)

1. How important is Valentine’s Day?

  • I don’t think Valentine’s Day is particularly important in many relationships; in fact, I’m not a huge fan of V-Day, as I believe it often relegates romance, intimacy, and eroticism to one day per year. You’re better off investing in your relationship on a daily basis as opposed to relying on one grand gesture to reignite the spark. Having said that, if it’s important to you, that’s all that matter. You’re the expert in your own needs and relationship.

2. How do you get away from the predictable chocolate, flowers, and dinner?

  • Volunteer! It makes you more attractive and is associated with increased levels of happiness and health. Whether the relationship is casual or you’re planning for the long-term, you’ll be creating a good habit for yourself (and your partner) moving forward.
  • Take a single friend or older neighbour out to dinner. As you spread the love and positive vibes, your relationship will thrive.

3. What should you do if you want to celebrate and your partner refuses, suggesting that it’s just a commercial holiday?

  • Explain why celebrating is important to you. Is it a matter of feeling prioritized? Is your desire to celebrate related to a desire for romance that is lacking in your daily routine? If you communicate your feelings that underly your desire to celebrate, they’ll benefit from a better understanding of your needs.
  • Celebrate without (a ton of) spending money. Make a list of all the things you love about your partner and send it via text. Or send an explicit card to their workplace using a pseudonym or pet name.

4. If you do want to celebrate more traditionally, do you have any suggestions to spice things up?

  • Surprise your partner by celebrating a day or two early. You’ll reap the rewards of unpredictability (which can help to reignite the spark) and you won’t get stuck with packed restaurants and pre-packaged menus.

5. And how can singles celebrate or should they even give V-Day a second thought?

  • It’s up to you. I wouldn’t worry about celebrating every holiday under the sun, but you’re really in the mood goo on a threesome date with a happy couple you admire! Happiness, healthy relationships and self-esteem are contagious, so invite a couple out for dinner or drinks; many couples find planning for V-Day stressful, so you’ll likely be lightening their load by taking the initiative to make plans.

If you’re looking for low-cost V-Day gifts, learn more here.