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Sex with Dr. Jess


May 17, 2017

Hotter Vacation Sex – Tips for the Long Weekend

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In this week’s quickie episode, Jess shares practical strategies for having hotter sex this weekend and as your summer vacation approaches. From the 50/50 rule to packed surprises, these specific suggestions should lead you into the long weekend ready for passion, intimacy, and steamy sex.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Hotter Vacation Sex – Tips for the Long Weekend

Participant #1:
Hello. This is Jess O’Reilly at Sex. The doctor. Jess, and I am just your friendly neighborhood sexologist like every neighborhood should have. I don’t know what my neighbors have to say about that, but nonetheless am here today, and I am sharing tips for hotter vacation sex because all the data says that we’re having more sex on vacation, wild, untamed sex on vacation. But most of the couples I’m talking to say they’re so exhausted by the time they get to the vacation that they spend their vacations catching up on sleep instead of sex. Now we are heading into the long weekend here in Canada. Up here we unofficially call this weekend May 24, and I know my American friends have their official summer kick off long weekend. Next weekend. I myself, I am hopping on a flight to Jamaica to visit my family and swim in the coral reefs and eat mangoes. That is my goal for the weekend to eat at least two dozen fresh juicy mangoes. Yes. And also we’re celebrating our real 16 year anniversary. My husband and I finally we have two anniversaries. We have our wedding anniversary, and then we have how we met or the day we met anniversary. I don’t know if that’s allowed if you think that’s fair or not, but I have two anniversaries basically because I like to party, so not about me. This is about you. And this is a quickie podcast. It’s going to be a short one. I’m just going to simply share some sex tips all about having hotter sex on the long weekend or on vacation this summer. So I’ve got some really specific and practical tips for you. Here we go. Let’s dive into this number one. Follow the 50 50 rule. All right. This is a vacation rule. If you know me, you know that the 80 20 rule governs a really considerable part of my life with food, relationships, work, fitness, health, love, emotions and all that jazz. I’m all about the 8020, but for vacations and for sexy addictions, I am dropping that number and shifting the ratio to 50 50. Now, what does this mean? 50 50 refers to planned activities versus chill and exploration time.

Now, during your chill time, it doesn’t mean you need to be sitting on a beach. It just means that you don’t want to over plan. So when we visit a new city or a new vacation spot, we want to get out and explore. We want to go on tours. Maybe you want to see the mall or the Museum or go for a hike. And I know because I am more guilty of this than anybody else. I’m the reason for this rule. It is really easy to fill up our schedules to the point of exhaustion. So to avoid passing out as soon as you hit the sheets after a fun, long vacation day, try to split your schedule between touristy or cultural explorations and more relaxing activities. That afford you some quality time together with your lover again. You don’t have to be lying down. You could go to the spa together. You could have a hot tub date. You could go for a long walk on the beach. It’s not cliche. It’s amazing, especially coming from Toronto. We don’t have long beaches to walk on. So think about the 50 50 rule. And if you tend to over plan and come back from vacation in need of a vacation, chances are you’re probably not getting to the sex part. So knock. I don’t know 20% of your plans out of that vacation schedule to bring yourself closer to the 50 50 rule. If it’s not 50 50 and it’s 60 40, I’ll give you a pass. All right. Next, I was thinking about this about hotter vacation sex and what makes it hotter for me on vacation. And I was thinking that it’s just the way you treat your partner on route to your destination. So I love to fly. I would be on a plane at any moment in time. And I just had my very exciting first experience on Emirates on their fancy, beautiful plane with the lounge. If you follow me on Insta, you’ll see that I bombarded the Insta stories. But to me, I really do enjoy the journey as much as the destination. I know many of you, in fact, of course, do not like to fly. My husband does not like to fly, so try and I know you’re not always flying. Sometimes you’re on a road trip. And I was talking about this earlier. It takes an average of 22 minutes for a couple to get in a fight after they get in the car. 22 minutes. That’s that. All right. So pack a surprise for your lover and give it to them on root. All right. Makes sense. So you’re going to make the journey. Whether you’re on a train, a plane, an automobile, you’re going to make it more pleasurable. So listen up. You are awesome. You are sexy. You are a great partner, but chances are you’re a little predictable. You need to surprise your partner more because when you’re surprised with something pleasurable, not something scary. Okay. Your brain’s reaction to that pleasurable stimulus is more intense. Scientists have been studying the activity of the amygdala neurons and monkeys, and they found that the way the brain reacts to anticipation versus surprise is, in fact, different. Now. Anticipation is fun, too. And you hear me talk about this often with regard to dopamine, for instance. But you want some element of surprise in your relationship because think of it this way. Eating a chocolate cake you ordered at the end of the meal is really nice. But being surprised by a free piece of chocolate cake at the end of a nice meal by your server is even better. Right? To me, everything kind of boils down to chocolate cake, and I can make that differentiation so the same applies in relationships. So, for instance, seeing your partner’s naked body is lovely and exciting. But when they surprise you with a little bit of nudity or a little flash, when you least expect it, it has an entirely different effect. So surprise your partner with something en route to your destination. Like I said, whether you’re in a plane, a train, or an automobile or a teleportation device up here in Canada, we have those already.

So wherever you’re at, give them a surprise. And it doesn’t have to be a sexual surprise. I’m going to be surprising. Brandon, my partner with two things on today’s flight. I have cliff bars for him. Like those. I don’t know. Protein, healthy bars for you. Healthy people because he never eats the meal on the plane, and then he’s Spanish when we land and then he gets hangry. Nothing worse than a hangry man. Maybe a hangry doctor does. Yeah. So I have these cliff bars for him, and I hit them. And I also wrapped up a little note and Louis and I’m not going to share the contents of the note, but it’s dirty, and I’m going to leave it on his feet in the airplane and let him read it when he comes back from the washroom. I’m going to sneak off at the same time so that I’m not going to be there. So it’s just a surprise. It’s not an orgy or anything like that. It’s just something to get his mind into vacation mode. And, of course, thinking about me because me, me. Okay. Other ideas for surprising. Pack them a surprise snack or wear new underwear and slash them in public when no one is looking, maybe wrap a small gift, like their favorite chocolate or again, for you, healthy people. Maybe it’s their favorite vegetable. I don’t know, wrap up a carrot if that’s what you like, but surprise them. Okay. You could splurge and order champagne to the room or even on the plane so that it’s awaiting on arrival. You could surprise them once you get there by hiring them, like a personal training session. If they’re into fitness or a yoga session with a local instructor or a massage, whatever they’re into, right? It could be a cooking class. Another option. It’s not really en route, but I like this one. You could pack their bag, pack their suitcase a day in advance to save them time, which honestly never works for me because my husband is so picky about his clothes. Gosh, I always think back to, like, Mad Men. And you see these movies where the women pack the suitcases for their male partners. And I’m like, that could never be me, because Brandon would be like, no, I don’t like this shirt. It’s too tight or something like that. Anyhow. Oh, here’s another really great one. Run to the drugstore ahead of time and buy them little travel size toiletries so that they’re all set to go. And they’re not, you know, not trying to squish things into little bottles and bags. So, OK, that’s enough of my own ideas for how to surprise them. You figure it out next. Once you’re on vacation, have sex in the morning. Not only is your body primed for sex in the morning because of high testosterone, deep relaxation, right? Aren’t we all pretty much half asleep until noon anyway? And of course, morning wood and nocturnal penalties that come on, might as well make use of that erection. But it’s also really nice to get the sex out of the way. So when I go on vacation, we tend to have long days. Sometimes we walk 25 km, exploring the city, eating, drinking. And of course, when you get back to the room, you want to have sex because you’ve had a great time together. And there’s not as many distractions when you’re on vacation, but it doesn’t always happen. So the key is morning sex. Do it in the morning. All right, do it. You’re not going to be late for work. No excuses. And here’s a really simple tip. A small one. It’s like a tip. Addendum easy tip. Make a mess. When you’re having sex on vacation, you’re away from home. You may not have to clean up after yourself. Mess up the sheets, mess up the shower, mess up the sitting area. Don’t worry. All right. I think that we’re always so worried about getting makeup on the pillow or remaking the bed after we’ve made it, or just serving something that’s on the table clear enough. Make a mess go wild. And then finally, I told you, this is a quickie this is sex tips. In seven minutes.

I want you to try a new technique. All right, you’re on vacation. Try something new. Do the Claudia. If you don’t know the Claudia, well, then we really don’t know each other because I talk about the Claudia pretty much every day. The Claudia is two hands. Fingers interlaced two times the lube you think you need two times the pressure you think you need. And this is a hamjob technique. So you need a penis in the room for this one, I’ll get to the better one in a moment. If you’ve got a vagina instead of a penis, maybe you got both. Good for you. You wrap your hands around that shaft twice the loop, twice the pressure. Two hands, fingers interlace. This isn’t the hand job to end all blowjob people. Once you learn how to do it right. Or if you don’t feel like touching a penis and I can’t blame you, do the cross my fingers. So the cross my fingers is a fun one. You put your fingers into the shape of a peace sign, like you’re holding up a piece sign, and then you just cross them the way you would cross your fingers if you were telling a lie and putting your fingers behind your back as a kid. All right, cover them in lube, and then you slide them inside of your partner and you rotate. All right? Really fun, really slow, really sensual. No scooping. Okay, no scooping motions. It’s just a sensual twist. Now, I promise. Seven minutes of sex tips, and I might have gone a little bit over. So I’m going to stop now with a recap of these five simple tips for Hotter vacation. Section. Number one is the 50 50 rule. Do not over plan number two. Pack a surprise and give it to your partner en route. Number three, have the sex in the morning, please. And number four, number four was make a mess. Please. Make a mess. Enjoy yourself. Sex is supposed to be messy and loud and squishy, and it doesn’t look like it does in the movies. Thank goodness. You know what really bugs me about the movies when they have sex that the women let down their hair when they get on top, I’m like, no me. I’m going to get, like, a scrunchie and put it up. I don’t want that all dangling in my face, but in the movies, it’s all about the shot, not about the poor girl’s comfort. And don’t get me started on people playing tennis with their hair down. I don’t know how you do it, man. All right. And then finally, number five, before I go even more off track, try something new. The Claudia, the cross, my fingers, the sucker. Maybe you’ve taken my webinars already and you’ve learned all these moves. Give them a try. I know it can be intimidating, but when you’re on vacation, your inhibitions are lower. I saw this stat saying that 40% of women had sex outdoors on their last vacation. I’m in the 60%, but hey, to each their own. So wherever you are at home, on the road, in the air, whatever you’re up to this weekend and upcoming week, I’m sending you good, warm vibes, have a great one. And really let me know how these tips work out for you. And, of course, if you have better tips than me, because I find that when we get the group together, all of your heads are better than my head. You got great ideas, so share them. Send them to us, tweet them at me at sex with Dr. Jeff. And if you need some serious vacation inspiration, follow me on Instagram. No, just kidding. Check out my sponsor’s upcoming closing optional cruise. Naked Cruising People leaving from Venice this September with Desire Resorts and Cruises. We are headed from Venice to Bologna to a bunch of stops in Croatia. I’m so excited we’re going to Dubrovnik it’s in the Adriatic Sea. It’s going to be beautiful. It’s not your mother’s or your grandmother’s cruise. Although I bet you my mother’s and grandmother’s cruise would be pretty cool. It’s an expression of people. But if you want to learn more about this clothing optional cruise, I will be there teaching some workshops, but mostly just enjoying the wine. As we cruise through Italy and Croatia head to sex withdraj com for all of the details, we’ve got a banner on the homepage all about Desire Cruises and let me know if you will be joining me and my fellow seamen on board this September. Folks, this is Jess O’Reilly. I am at sex with Dr. Jess on all social media. Have a lovely weekend or week ahead of you and I look forward to hearing from you. See ya. Oh.