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Sex with Dr. Jess


July 25, 2016

11 Ways to Initiate Sex

Brought to you by Dr. Jess’ fave spot Desire Resorts. Check it out! It will change your life.

To be a great lover, you need to hone your ability to seduce your partner and make them feel desired. Body language, eye contact, tone, language and attitude are all essential to driving your lover wild, but sometimes we all need a little help with the practical side of initiation sex, so here are eleven simple strategies to help you become a master of seduction:

Highlight the attention they receive from others. If you caught the gardener or bartender checking your lover out, use this as a way to flirt, stroke their ego and remind them that they’re a sexual animal in the eyes of others.

Reminisce about the past. Talk about the hottest sex you ever had and spare no detail as you whisper your memories into your lover’s ear.

Give orders. It’s okay to be demanding and giving your partner directions is the perfect way to initiate sex without having to do all the work. Tell them exactly what you want: Look at me. Look me up and down. Stop your eyes right…there. Think about what’s underneath. Come here. No – stop there. Undo your top button. Turn around. Slowly. More slowly. Now come here. Kiss me right there. Harder. Get down on your knees…


Kiss passionately. It may seem obvious, but a deep, slow, passionate kiss may be all your lover needs to flip the switch from work mode into love mode. When you lock lips, not only are your mind and body reminded of the early days of passionate love, but the flurry of feel-good hormones promotes bonding and relaxation. Don’t wait until you’re in the bedroom to plant your first kiss — get started early in the morning or make out each time you hit a red light on your way home.

Pick a “flash” word. Choose a word (e.g. baby, popcorn, traffic, weather) that will serve as your private code word while out in public. Whenever you hear it, slip away and flash your lover a little extra skin.

Watch porn together. Couples who watch adult movies together have more satisfying sex lives, so pick a movie that will appeal to both of you to take Netflix and Chill to the next level.

Ask for it! If you’re in the mood, say so! BUT – be clear that you’re in the mood for your lover — not just for sex. “I’m horny” certainly won’t get you as far as “I’m craving you and nothing else will do.”

Slip into the shower. Surprise your honey by joining them in the shower. Give them a few minutes to get cleaned up and then slide in and offer to lather their backside under the cascade of warm, wet steam.

Send a sext. New research shows that sexting is most common in committed relationships, between people with secure attachment styles, so it’s time to rethink this sexy past time. You can use sexts to get your partner’s attention before asking them to run an errand, but you can also use them to set the tone for later in the evening. Check out my guide to sexting here.

Pull out the toys and lube! What better way to signal your interest in sex than to leave your toys, lube and other sex props on the bedside table? Just be sure your in-laws don’t plan on visiting first.

Straddle them and give them a sensual massage. When you assume a position that you tend to associate with sex, your body and mind often follow. Climb atop and touch gently and erotically – no deep pressure needed.

This post is brought to you by Desire Resorts.