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Sex with Dr. Jess


November 25, 2013

Cultivating Communication and intimacy: Advice from Goddess Intellect

We recently sat down with Telisha Ng, commonly known as the Goddess Intellect. Telisha is a relationship coach and well-known blogger. With so many readers asking us common questions about communication and intimacy in relationships, we thought we’d pass them along to none other than the Goddess Intellect herself. Here’s what Telisha had to tell us:

1. When it comes to sex and relationships, what is the most common mistake we make as couples and how can we fix it?

The most common mistake couples make in relationships is that we often expect our partners to know how to meet our needs at all times. I think that the assumption that we only need to communicate our needs once and never again is how we develop resentment and hurt feelings in relationships. The best way to fix this is to keep communication flowing and constant, taking the time to listen to each other and to the meaning behind the words and actions. Never be afraid to express when you have been hurt or when you feel pleased by your partner – it helps to nourish the bond you both share.

2. Do you think that technology has improved or hindered our ability to form meaningful relationships? Please explain.

I think technology has definitely made it easier to access a larger selection of mates. I believe that it encourages short cuts in social interaction, but I also believe it can help us connect with more people who have shared interests. Our world has become a lot smaller. I believe technology has helped us realize how important intimacy and relationships are to one another. We see this in the increase of dating sites and blogs dishing out daily relationship advice. I don’t believe it has hindered our ability to form meaningful relationships. I measure the success of relationships by the communication within the relationship. Technology can affect this, but the couple ultimately has the upper hand and sets the rules. 

3. How can a couple use technology to their advantage in cultivating intimacy?

There are a lot of innovative ways to use technology to their advantage. There are apps that allow us to sync calendars, find date night deals on Groupon, birth control apps and even STD test results for couples are available as an app. If you and your significant other are not app junkies, simple “checking in with your day” text messages or surprise sexy cell phone pics are a great way to cultivate intimacy.

4. You’ve attended Dr.Jess workshops and read her first book. What is the most important message you’ve drawn from her work?

I thoroughly enjoyed Dr.Jess’ felatio workshop and Hot Sex, Tips and Tricks book. When I showed the book to my boyfriend, the strangest thing happened – he stole it from me to study the diagrams! 

The most important message that I took away from the workshop & book was not necessarily the technique but the importance of playing and experimenting as a couple. As I mentioned above, the best relationships are ones where communication is flowing and constant. To me, this extends into the bedroom as well. 


Telisha Ng

Telisha Ng (aka Goddess Intellect)

Based out of Toronto, Canada, Telisha Ng is a relationship coach, the editor of and the creator of the internationally known Battle for the Sexes Show. Famous for offering wisdom, fun and sound advice on relationships, her mission is to bring men and women together in love, respect and flirtatious freedom to make the world a better place.

After a string of failed relationships, back in February 2009 Telisha found blogging was the best way for her to work through her heartbreak and frustrations with dating. Years later, her blog has become her life. It has gone through major pivotal changes leading to naming it one of the Top Ten African-American blogs worldwide. Her unwavering desire to connect with others, healing through blogging and coaching remains as steadfast as it was the day she began.

Using a transparent and often humorous approach to relay accounts of her own love life, her readership remains loyal and excited to support any new projects under the Battle of the Sexes and Goddess Intellect brand.

There is never a dull moment in Telisha’s life. When she is not blogging, helping others remove blocks in their love lives, serving as a youth mentor or planning Battle of the Sexes shows, she enjoys yoga, walking her dog, dancing and starting social media parties on Twitter & Facebook.

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