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Sex with Dr. Jess


March 14, 2013

DIY Sex: Hot Tips for Self Pleasure

DIY Sex: Hot Tips for Self Pleasure

This month is all about Do-It-Yourself and as fantastic as some of the latest homemade crafts and edible gifts may be, I cannot think of a better project to work on with your very own hands than a little self-pleasure.

With new research suggesting that over 90 percent of men and women have made solo sex a part of their erotic repertoire, there is hope that the days of shame, stigma and shameful hairy palm myths are long gone. Considering that most people will experience their very first orgasm at the hands of…their own hands, it’s a good thing too! Read on for my favourite tips to get the most out of self-love.


Thinking about someone other than the love of your life during sex is NOT tantamount to cheating. In fact, 84 percent of men and women admit to fantasizing about other partners and research suggests that those who fantasize have the most fulfilling sex lives. So go ahead and let your mind wander a little…

If you don’t know what to fantasize about, do a little research. Check out the stories from real women in Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden or pick up a copy of Sweet Love: Erotic Fantasies for Couples by Violet Blue. Not every story will appeal to you in its entirety (in fact, some may turn you off altogether), but reading a variety of fantasies will help you to tap into your own and push your boundaries.

Make noise!

Did you know that most of the noise we make during sex is actually for our partners’ pleasure and not our own? And though we tend to exaggerate our sounds during partnered sex, many of us do the opposite during solo sex. Downplaying our natural vocalizations seems to make sense since many of us were conditioned to muffle our sounds during early masturbation experiences to avoid “getting caught”.

However, as adults, all that has changed. We can lock ourselves in our rooms or steam up the shower as we let it all hang out! The next time you decide to play with yourself, allow your sounds to flow freely so that your breath follows in a deep and natural rhythm. If you feel like sighing, screaming or grunting, then go ahead and indulge. Your body will thank you with orgasmic contractions and tingly sensations all over.

Read the rest of the article here!