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Sex with Dr. Jess


September 5, 2012

How To Reignite The Sexual Spark: Part II

Reignite the sexual spark part 2

Part II

In the first part of this series, I suggested that you schedule sex in order to reignite that sexual spark…sort of. The exercise actually involved finding a balance between spontaneity and planning and you can revisit this challenge here.

Your second task, Why Do I Love You Again?, involves a trip down memory lane. It’s a simple way to revisit and reignite the attraction and excitement you experienced when you first met.

Set aside 40 minutes along with your lover and ensure that you eliminate all potential distractions. I know it’s tough, but this is a partnered exercise and isn’t intended for the wide world of social media, so shut down your devices and take some time to slow down. I didn’t believe it myself until I tried it, but somehow the Twitter-verse manages to survive without us while we take time to recharge.

You can complete this exercise one of two ways: take turns answering the following questions face-to-face or if you prefer, you can print them out and jot down your responses before sharing them.

Take some time to reflect and try to be as honest as possible responding to the following questions:

1. What was the first thing you noticed about your lover?

2. What first attracted you to your lover?

3. On your first date, what excited you most?

4. On your first date, what made you nervous?

5. Do you remember the first time you kissed? What was it like?

6. Do you remember the first time you had sex? What was it like?

7. What is one awkward intimate moment you wouldn’t want to relive, but are able to laugh about now?

8. Can you remember the wildest/hottest sex you ever had? What made it so memorable?

When you’ve finished the exercise, take some time to relax, cuddle and kiss and enjoy the present while you reflect fondly on the past. Though your memories may not always be perfectly clear or perfectly positive, thinking back to the initial stages of attraction can reframe the way in which you regard your lover after years of daily conditioning.

Check back next week for another strategy to help keep the fire burning between the sheets…